Oh man!

I saw something unpleasant to see yesterday

I should never let my eyes wonder around

I've seen "the thing" standing in the middle of the road

with his awful look and he was looking as us while crossing the road

and the best part is, nobody saw him except for me.

the question is, WHY ME?!!!!

I AM SO AWESOME!

Coincidentally bump into this photos and it lingers in my mind. Greatttttttttttttttt!!! Another nightmare. Besides the panda. Omaigadddddddd! 

I hope it lingers in your mind too. Can't afford to keep it to myself. sorry people! 

hihi hihi hihi hihi T.T

PS : The title was meant to attract your attention. And I did it I guess! Yeahhhh!! Kudos to myself! :D

THE SMELL

I like the smell of the grass because it smells fresh
I like the scent that lingers after a rain because it makes me calm
I like the wet smell of freshly washed fabrics because it feels clean
I like to smell a new book because it gives a peace in me

what do you like?

A CUP OF TEA

There was a day where I felt empty. As empty as the taste of the green tea. I took a decision to do nothing that day and take a horizontal life pauses for a bit.  I tried to think of something motivational. Something that says, my relief is near. 

As I was sipping a cup of tea after the heavy serenity rain, I was actually gratified to discover that life is like a tea. The jobs that we have, the money that we get and the position in the society that we hold are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. It’s the tea that we are all looking forward to have to the cup, eventually. 

The most important thing is how to make a perfect tea. We need to know the exact amount of sugar so we won’t be too indulge by the sweetness in life, the correct measurement of hot water itself so it won’t burn our own tongue, and the perfect tea to be used. Green tea taste empty but it’s healthy, normal tea taste good and yummy, flavored teas taste funny and hard to get. So there you go. 

Teas represent how you want your life to be like. Happy, sad, adventurous, average, out-standing, etc. The life is yours. You are the leader. Yeah. I know. Our brains perceive difficult decision, when we have many choices, as more important, and causing us to struggle over what to choose. But no matter what kind of decision we made, our duty as a servant to the All Mighty should not be forgotten as it may lead you to do the forbidden things or yet can be said as sinful. It all has to be based on finding the right path to get close to Him. It might be the most adventurous journey as we are always surrounded by the evil force from the Satan but how we handle it shows them how solid your iman is. 

Be strong, fight all of the negativity in your mind and start to find the right sugar and tea and boiled the best water. Improve yourself and strengthen your iman. You lead your own life. All you have to do is make a right choice.

STRESS UP MESS UP

Do you know that too much stress literally causes the human brain to freeze and shut down temporarily? Well, now you know. 

There’s a lot of way to handle stress. I always imagine that my stress is dirt. So when I’m so stress out, I’ll clean. I’ll wash the toilet, mop the floor, clean up the dishes, wipe out the windows and stuffs. Surely, it feels so good. And if I wanted to have a little joy while cleaning, I’ll curse the dirt and rub it off! Or you can pretend that you are ripping off the one that gives you the hell of stress while plucking off the grass. Ahhh… what a relief. T.T

Some people eat a lot when they are stress. And that is so not healthy. You can rule a new empire call “The Land of Fat”. And diabetic is your treasurer. Oh, oh, and medicine is your best companion. Yaaa… it’s freakin’ creepy. So don’t do that. And don’t take pills. You’re going to depends on that a lot. Why pay when you can deal with it in a healthy way right ay ay ay ay? 

Sometimes, when we are stress, be random. Like a unicorn that wears pink t-shirt delivering a pizza with a weird pink sauce and M&M’s as the topping, and scream, “kuda mati. Kuda mati.”

Yeah. Wayyyyyyy more… creeeeeepy.

BLUR BLANK BRAIN

You know that feeling when you have tons of idea to blog but you got no laptop in front of you  because you are in the middle of doing something else when the idea pops in so you think you can just spill it all when you are in front of the laptop like this.

yeah. sort of. but when you are actually in front of the laptop, the idea blocked. literally, you... can't think of anything. so you, type a random stuff. yeah.

WALK ON

There is a design, an alignment, a cry of my heart
 to see the beauty of love as it was made to be.

Maybe I will, or maybe I will not be able to see it.

THERE WAS A TIME...

there was a time where my mind sparks with the idea, "just be like a panda".

where I can act incoherently, just do whatever I felt like doing it.

ya know... yeah.
*kembang kempis hidung*

POETIC TRAGEDY

dalam kelam harapnya aku, kau jadi cahayanya

dalam seram harapnya aku, kau pelindungnya

dalam kabut hati harapnya aku, kau penenangnya

dalam sendu harapnya aku, kau pemujuknya

aku tak pandai berhias macam mereka

aku tak lancar bicara macam pembaca berita

aku tak sempurna macam yang kau minta

aku tak mampu jadi seindah bunga

tapi harap aku dengan adanya cinta

kekuranganku kau penuhi

kelemahanku kau perbaiki

kehidupanku kau indahi

HAH!

That very moment when you put your ego below your feet for someone but that someone doesn't seems to care so you go, ALRIGHTY, THEN!

THANKFUL

Ya Allah...

 I thankful for the food on my plate

the roof on top of my head

the freedom that I got

and the priceless love that You give.

Ya Allah...

please put all of my Muslim's brothers and sisters at the safest place

protect them from any harm

We beg for Your mercy Ya Allah...

STOP IT

This is what we all should do now.

CHEERIO IN MY SPOON

I am weird and so do you.

I might be different, but you are mysterious.

I might not be that kind of someone that cross your mind, but you are the one that I've always think of.

So hey, why don't we.. erm.. why don't... hey!

Let's run, Cheerio!

It

 

You feel it

I feel it

So spill it.

Do you know? #10

Do you know that panda are everywhere now? Yeah. You might be related to them if you have a dark circle around your eyes. Hahaha See, panda can be very very scary. and they are eeeeeeverywhere! Don't believe in my words? haih... see below.

They can be at your office... trashing your table...

They are at the side walks... creepy.

On your plates... in your tummy soon... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Yala.. yalaaaaaa!!

Do you know? #9

Do you know that our mother are super woman? No other superheroes or superheroins can beat mothers because mothers are much more powerful than them! And of course, they don't need any silly superheroes outfit like rubber outfit with skirts, ya know that, out-if-mind outfit to be super woman. Once you are a mother, you are official super woman! Yeahhhhhh.

See, people. Mothers got a lot of task every single day. They woke up early in the morning. First thing in their mind, kids and husband. And that's the last thing on their mind too. They get up, wake everybody with commitment up for the first wave, get everybody's stuffs ready, prepare the breakfasts, pray, and wake everybody up for the second wave, clean up the house, wash your clothes, tide your bed, feed your pets, clean up the house, do the dishes, cook, buy fishs and stuffs, pay the bills, annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd lotsa lots of work to be doneeeeeeeeeeeeee!! And if they are working, triple up their task! Craaaazy isn't it? But yet, we can still see them smilling at you.

Imagine those who is working from home. They've got little baby to look after. They need to handle the house matter. Get the kids from school, cook, clean, email the client, attend virtual meetings, paperworks, gosh! So many things to be done but so little time and energy! No doubt. They are super woman!

Can you do that? Me? If power can be passed on, I think I can. Hahaha unfortunately, seems like, I will be the “new era” mother. Ya know, the one who are, less capable of doing so many task and get tension easily. Haha the one who will play masterchef games and stuffs, sort of like this,“Kids, today I'll be your judge. You'll be giving 20 minutes to get the dinner ready. Go go go go!” or “who clean up their rooms well will get extra allowance tomorrow!”. Hahahaha and I will be at my work station getting my work done. Lalalalala... yeah. Now, I scares off my future husband. Don't runaway honey! It's written! Hahahaha good. Now he is miles away. Come back. Come backkkkkkk!! T.T

okay, enough with the drama, Astro Prima! Hahaha actually, I couldn't recall if I ever said this to my mother, but Mama, you are my super heroin! You cook me yummy yummy food, you clean up my room, you wash my clothes, you feed my cats, you give me allowance although I'm working now, you dig my ears, you stayed up all night when I was sick, you recite Yassin to me when I have exams or interviews, you do a lot of things to me, Mamaaaaaa!! And you never get tired. But whenever you ask for my help, I kept on delayinggggg... making a silly sound, and says, why you keep on calling me when you still got 5 other names to be called upon?! (T_T) Yeah. She got 7 people in the house to look after including my father. But she never says anything about it. And when she ask for a tiny winy help, I'll be, I mean, we'll be, usually like, “ala, nantilah”, “okay (but still not moving)”, and sometimes pretend that we are sleeping. Hahaha okay. I'm not supposed to laugh. I should feel sorry to myself. I'm a bad bad daughter. Arghhhhhhhh... I'm sorry Mama. I will improve myself from now onwards. T_T

I'm sorry Mama!!

And I'm sorry for those who lost their mother. It must have been hard for them. Don't be sad. They don't want you to be sad too. They've might be out of your sight but their love and spirit will always there with you. If you miss them, no worries, we can shares. I don't mind having another siblings in the house. Hee if you can handle snore, that would be awesome possum bor! ehehe

Do you know? #8

Do you know that moment when you are eating not because you are hungry but you are eating because the fooooooooooooood is damn so tempting? How about this. Do you know someone who simply don't want to eat because she/he are actually too lazy to chew foods? :8)

Guess what? That kind of people exist, actually. Literally, they are thin not because they are dietting or something but because they don't have a good relationship with food. Food does not seems attractive to them! Eating is such a banal and mundane task. Hahaha crazy huh? Yeah. It's just like sitting for examinations where you don't have a choice so you do it and yeah, that's why they do it. Because it's necessary and important. Haha haha haha

But if they have a chance to eat, they will eat much more than a normal people could eat! They will eat like a JEBON people!! hahahaha So, beware!

Do you know I don't have a good relationship with food? Well, now you know.

okay, this picture got nothing to do with this entry. hahaha

Do you know? #7

Do you know that moment when you starts everything from a scratch from the idea streaming, to applying it, finding the solution, repairing it and stuffs until you got the final outcomes, alone and when someone saw it, they copied it and claim it as theirs? Yeah. That moment that you felt like poking their eyes out from the socket and throw it on the road and wait for a lorry that carries cow's poops to crash them until flats! Yeahhhhhh...

Everybody has a brain. We should utilize our brain wisely. But I guess, some people utilize it wrongly. Instead of using their own idea in doing something, they choosed to copy it from other people to get the credit. Silly silly people. Now I know how meekly your little brain works.

Taking something as a refference is cool but taking the whole thing and claim that idea is from you, is a BIG no. Either than you should get a life, you should take a manner class to behave well in the society!

Do you know? #6

Do you know that moment when you thought that you have a bad luck in a relationship and you are about to gave up in trying your luck but things are actually getting muchy more interesting that it was before? It's called, moment of relief! Hahaha

There was once, my friend, the love guru, said to me that, “Don't be dissapointed when someone you care ignores you. Because actually, while he is ignoring you, another guy is giving the you attention that you need. So, look arounds.” That words of wisdom did run through my head for awhile but then I said, “Nahhhh... there's no one.” Yes, I'm blinded by night. Haha there is actually, one guy who always there, camuoflaging with the background but at the same time supports you in whatever you are in. That far away guy. The one that is out from your sight. Yeah. The one that you rarely meet because he lives in the Far Far Away Land. *lifting eye brows back and forth*

So, the interesting part is when you starting to notice the attention he gaves you when he remember everything you do and said in details. Yeah. Touching ching ka-ching! But that was just the introduction for an eye opening. Things are getting way more cooler when he do stuff that you are looking forward for a man to do that. Yeah. The gentleman part. You know, tries to protect you although he is afraid like hell too, worrying about your safety, little race while paying the meals, mentioning about your features, accepting your clumsy-panic attitude, drive slowly because he is afraid about your safety, apologise everytime he show up late, apologise even when he run into a bump on the road (hahaha), wearing a spec while driving just to give a little confident in me although that is his reading spec, and oh, wait for you until you get into the house then he will leave, ya know, that little little thing that he does but leaves a big impact. Yeah. One in a million. Those little things that almost vanish in men nowadays. Hahahaha

And the horrible part yet to come. Mr. Goodbye came in and try to ruin your great time. Awesome posembur! But that's cool, I guess. We shouldn't indulge ourselves with too many sweetness because it can lead to diebetic! Hahaha So, yeah. Let's preserve this sweetness in mind and keep it cool. It might be handy dandy when I'm down, the remembrances can help to cheer me up. Yeah, that's awesome! A new option to keep myself happy.

Now, I'm just going to leave The Almighty do His part. Well, I've set my prayers. Let's just wait and see what He has plan for me.

Oh, by the way, do you know what “love at first sight” means? It means, you are in a big trouble. Wuuuuu.. *wiggling fingers and wink*  

Do you know? #5

Do you know that feeling when you are damn so hungry and someone came and annoys you? Yeah. That get-out-from-my-face feeling.

You tried your best to stay calm until your tummy is filled with yummy yummy dishes but that someone keep on, haih, disturbing you, back and forth. Get away, get away, get away from my face before I slap your face with a plate!

And the worst part is, you have shown that someone that you are pissed off but that someone couldn't care less. The termometer is getting higher and your heart beat fast. Your vain beside your nose, tickle. And it giving a sign that, you are about to throw your tantrum right to that someone's face.

But, you just can't. Because that someone is your, haih, guest. So, you find an excuse and leave that “haunted” area and that “ghost”, alone. And while you are walking to the safest place, you'll said in your heart, “I was thissssssss (showing your pinky with your thumb) close to hit your face with this mug!”.

Yeah. That, haih, feeling.

don't you think?

Do you know? #4

Do you that feeling when you when out for a date and your mum are so excited it? Yeah, that i-count-on-you feeling.

The horrible moment is when she waited for you at home, patiently, and she asked you, “how's your date? I really hope that it went well because I've been praying for both of you” when that date actually doesn't turn out well. And there you goes. The guilty feeling is all over you.

And you lost your words when you saw her i'm-hoping-it-went-well face. So, you tell her a white lie by saying, “it went well, mum” and run straight ahead to your room to avoid yourself from telling her another lie. That mixed feeling.

The next day, she will ask you about what did that guy said, how is his reaction to me, what did he do, this and that and all you wanted to say is, “Mum, he still love his ex and we are talking about his ex all along”. But, instead of saying that, you said, “he is just another tipical Malay boy, Mum”. The no-more-question's answer.

So, she put on a sad face and said, “I really hope that there will be a guy that you are going to like. Because I want to see you happy” when actually, I like that boy but he just too stupid to notice that because he is still in the past. That, fucked up feeling.

Then, you go to your room, do some thinking and blaming, why in the world I can't have any relationship with any guy that stop by in my life? You blame yourself so much, think too much, and you soak up in tear until you fall asleep. yeah. That undescrible feeling.

That is, the feeling of... you name it.

Do you know? #3

Do you know that feeling when you text someone because you care for that someone but that someone took 1 and a ½ hour to reply , “Nope, y?” yeah. That feeling of self-distruction.

Then, you replied that someone's text asap because you wanted that someone to know that you've been expecting that someone's text but that someone took another, 2 hour to replied, “yeah, that's cool”. Yeah. That fucked up feeling.

But, you didn't give up just yet. You still wanted to see whether that someone is still interested in having a conversation with you by texting a question relating to that someone's work, but that conversation end just about it because you looks stupid when you ask a thing that you already know. So, yeah. You gave up.

Then, you choose to stop texting that someone to see that someone's efforts and it took that someone, 3 days to text you back. In between that day, you have brain wash yourself not to respond to that someone's text if that someone's text you, you assume that someone got a better person to talk with, you stalk that someone's facebook and yeah. That lousy feeling.

You choosed to tell that someone how you felt about that someone's attitude and that someone said, you are over-thinking and need to lose yourself abit. And you stop texting that someone because you are dissappointed with that someone's respond and you end your conversation just like that. Yeah. That upset feeling.

But you don't want to gave up just like that, so you pretend that you are okay and ask that someone what's that someone is doing the next day and ask whether that someone have watch a movie lately. And when that someone says, “no, because the review are sucks” so you said, “okay, I was thinking about asking you out for a movie”. And that someone says, “let's watch other movie” and you says, “cool”. That feeling of recovering.

And when the time has come, both of you are awkward. Then, that someone starts to sing out loud and turn the volume high and says, “You are quite today”. T.T yeah. That f*cked up abit.

And when you are at the table, that someone choose to watch “Jackass” on the phone and starts to laugh alone rather than having a conversation with you so, you pretend that you are busy to by scrolling to your Twitter with no internet connection because you haven't top up your phone yet. Yeah. That unexplainable feeling.

After the movie, that someone and you walks to the car and when that someone saw the flower seller approaching, that someone left you behind. Hahaha haha ha.. ehem. That.. that... I don't know how to explain.

And in that someone's car, you've been skipping the track and discussing about music and when the conversation is going good, you are reaching home, so you gave a wrong direction to get an extra time with that someone. Yeah. That pleasant feeling.

Then, both of you came to your favourite track, Love Song by The Cure and you sing it and both, awkward so you change the track asap. Yeah. That awkward moment.

So, you reaching to your home. You tell that someone something about you which that someone care less and the respond you get are like, “Oh, that's cool”. And that someone left you, without waiting for you to get in the house first. Yeah. That feels, oh. I don't know how to explain.

So, do you know that feeling when you are in between giving up a potential relationship into another friendship and trying your luck again and again just to see if its might works? Yeah. That confusing feeling.

PS : This do-you-know entry is not effective anymore.

Do you know? #2

Do you know that feeling when you are almost done with your work but then either the computer or the software is against you? Yeah. The feeling of dissappoinment.

You spent almost 2 hours infront of the computer, put all of your attention on it, and 101 percent efforts on it but then, when you tried to save it, it says, “Program is not responding”. So you wait and you wait and you wait for half an hour but that thing just, circling? Yeah. The fear of losing.

Then you wait for some more time in case the program might be a bit nice to you but still, it don't? Your eyes are getting tired, your mind feels the pressure, and your heart tries to comfort you but still, “The program is not responding”. Thanks.

So you gave up. Gave a big up. You run your fingers on the keyboard and hit the ctrl + Alt + del and end the program with heart full of hatred and scream, “whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!” while clicking the mouse. Your face? Kinda like a ware wolf.

Then, you quickly shut down the computer and ran to your bed, grab a pillow and scream in it as loud as you can to comfort yourself and you, ehem, fall asleep.

The next day, you've tried to get your work done but you got distracted along the way, so you follow the distraction because you have enough with the work that you have to do it twice because of your own silly silly mistake. Yeahhhhh. The rebelion of the heartish!

Enough. Enough. This distraction ain't bringing me anywhere. Get your work done, monsterrrrrrr!!!

Do you know? #1

Do you know that moment when you really want to tell someone about how you felt for that someone but you are afraid that someone will reject it directly so you post a song and update a subtle hint with a hope that someone will actually know what are you trying to say? Yeah. That one.

And if that someone still don't get it, you take that as a rejection and you just kept that unexpressable feeling to yourself until it fade away. The worst part is, you see him in a relationship with someone who, hmm, not worth being with. And you've become his shoulder to cry on when they've broke up and it's impossible for you to say, “Dude, I like you even before she does and I accept you for who you are” because you've afraid he will say, “Babe, you are just like my sister” so you smile and say “you will find someone better”. So yeah. That moment.

Then, you watch your heart broke into thousand of pieces and dissemble it back for someone who deserve it but you can't seems to wait any longer so you try to give your heart to someone who drop by but they've broke it again and you took a lot of time to dissemble it, again.

Yup. So now, you're in that part where you are giving up and you wanted to just enjoy your life and pretending that you don't need any love to live because you have your family and friends and oh, your pets. But the worst yet to come, someone drop by, again, in your life but you don't know whether you should give your heart to 'em or just stick to the plan which is, you don't need any love.

Fuh. Then, you confused yourself even more because you want to be loved but you are afraid of getting hurt again so you are thinking, thinking and thinking until the sun came out. You still don't have the answer so you seek for advice and that advisor said, follow your heart which will say, just give me away. So, you give a try but still, your heart broke into million pieces.

Now, you wants to be heartless. And people will say, “She's single because she is heartless”.

Yeah. So, do you know that moment when you feels like slapping people with a sandle?

Hope

I'm hoping.
i hope you are, too.
:)

PANDA AND TRAUMATIZATION!

Some might think, why the hell I just hate panda?

They are a bunch of cute, fluffy animal that looks hugable.

like, hey! cutie, cutie pie! haha sort of like that T.T

but actually, I don't hate them. They are too cute to be hate.

Yeah. remember my first entry about panda?

that picture change my perception towards this lovely animal forever.

Panda freaks me out!!!!

*run with hands on the air*

It's not a pleasure to meet you, Pandaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

WARGHHHHHHHH!!

BAKE A CAKE LIKE A CAKE BOSS

Hey hey people! Salam! It's been awhile I didn't post anything. Been kinda busy. hey, recently, I bake a cake! ngeh ngeh ngeh edible okay?! don't hesitate to eat! haha I've watch "Cake Boss" and seriously speaking, they are nuts! they've been making cakes in all type of shape! tarantula, bath tubs, absolutely anything that you can ever dream off! sounds insane, doesn't it? well, tell me about it.

after I watch 'em, I was kinda driven to bake one. So, I when to City Baker, the heaven for all of the bakers! haha and bought a chocolate moist cake mixture (easier to bake for a dummies like me! hehe) foundant, and stuffs. oh yeah! let's trash up the kitchennnnnnn! 

at first I thought my cake will turn out to be another failure because my sister keep saying " you are doing it wrongly!, your cake did not turns out well," and stuffs. so, yeah. it did drop my confident a bit. hee but actually, it does not turns out bad. the cake rise smoothly as it should be lahhhh kakak. You scare the hell out of me betul. eish.but whatever it is, if not because of her advices, I'll probably burn the cake! hahaha

The best part of doing this cake is, *drum rolls* the foundant time!!!!!! yeahhhh.. this is the part where my fingers can go wild! kikikih. oh, this is how I want my cake to be looks like. an istagram!

I have to mix the white foundant with colors, and stuffs. yeahhh.. quite hard. you need to work your fingers a lot. lenguh gila. haha but it was fun, seeeeeeeeriously. I took more than 2 hours to decorate it (with the help of my sister, of course! hee). So, here you go!

yeah. the design is easy actually. hehe as a 1st trial, okay lah kot. kan? hehe

Do you know?

Do you know that feeling when you wanted to tell someone about your feeling towards that someone but you can't just say it directly because you don't have the guts?

So you leave that someone subtle hints but that someone are like frigging slow. So, you just kept that feeling to yourself and watch that someone from far until that unspoken feeling fade away. 

Yeah. that feeling.