Do you know? #3

Do you know that feeling when you text someone because you care for that someone but that someone took 1 and a ½ hour to reply , “Nope, y?” yeah. That feeling of self-distruction.

Then, you replied that someone's text asap because you wanted that someone to know that you've been expecting that someone's text but that someone took another, 2 hour to replied, “yeah, that's cool”. Yeah. That fucked up feeling.

But, you didn't give up just yet. You still wanted to see whether that someone is still interested in having a conversation with you by texting a question relating to that someone's work, but that conversation end just about it because you looks stupid when you ask a thing that you already know. So, yeah. You gave up.

Then, you choose to stop texting that someone to see that someone's efforts and it took that someone, 3 days to text you back. In between that day, you have brain wash yourself not to respond to that someone's text if that someone's text you, you assume that someone got a better person to talk with, you stalk that someone's facebook and yeah. That lousy feeling.

You choosed to tell that someone how you felt about that someone's attitude and that someone said, you are over-thinking and need to lose yourself abit. And you stop texting that someone because you are dissappointed with that someone's respond and you end your conversation just like that. Yeah. That upset feeling.

But you don't want to gave up just like that, so you pretend that you are okay and ask that someone what's that someone is doing the next day and ask whether that someone have watch a movie lately. And when that someone says, “no, because the review are sucks” so you said, “okay, I was thinking about asking you out for a movie”. And that someone says, “let's watch other movie” and you says, “cool”. That feeling of recovering.

And when the time has come, both of you are awkward. Then, that someone starts to sing out loud and turn the volume high and says, “You are quite today”. T.T yeah. That f*cked up abit.

And when you are at the table, that someone choose to watch “Jackass” on the phone and starts to laugh alone rather than having a conversation with you so, you pretend that you are busy to by scrolling to your Twitter with no internet connection because you haven't top up your phone yet. Yeah. That unexplainable feeling.

After the movie, that someone and you walks to the car and when that someone saw the flower seller approaching, that someone left you behind. Hahaha haha ha.. ehem. That.. that... I don't know how to explain.

And in that someone's car, you've been skipping the track and discussing about music and when the conversation is going good, you are reaching home, so you gave a wrong direction to get an extra time with that someone. Yeah. That pleasant feeling.

Then, both of you came to your favourite track, Love Song by The Cure and you sing it and both, awkward so you change the track asap. Yeah. That awkward moment.

So, you reaching to your home. You tell that someone something about you which that someone care less and the respond you get are like, “Oh, that's cool”. And that someone left you, without waiting for you to get in the house first. Yeah. That feels, oh. I don't know how to explain.

So, do you know that feeling when you are in between giving up a potential relationship into another friendship and trying your luck again and again just to see if its might works? Yeah. That confusing feeling.

PS : This do-you-know entry is not effective anymore.

Do you know? #2

Do you know that feeling when you are almost done with your work but then either the computer or the software is against you? Yeah. The feeling of dissappoinment.

You spent almost 2 hours infront of the computer, put all of your attention on it, and 101 percent efforts on it but then, when you tried to save it, it says, “Program is not responding”. So you wait and you wait and you wait for half an hour but that thing just, circling? Yeah. The fear of losing.

Then you wait for some more time in case the program might be a bit nice to you but still, it don't? Your eyes are getting tired, your mind feels the pressure, and your heart tries to comfort you but still, “The program is not responding”. Thanks.

So you gave up. Gave a big up. You run your fingers on the keyboard and hit the ctrl + Alt + del and end the program with heart full of hatred and scream, “whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!” while clicking the mouse. Your face? Kinda like a ware wolf.

Then, you quickly shut down the computer and ran to your bed, grab a pillow and scream in it as loud as you can to comfort yourself and you, ehem, fall asleep.

The next day, you've tried to get your work done but you got distracted along the way, so you follow the distraction because you have enough with the work that you have to do it twice because of your own silly silly mistake. Yeahhhhh. The rebelion of the heartish!

Enough. Enough. This distraction ain't bringing me anywhere. Get your work done, monsterrrrrrr!!!

Do you know? #1

Do you know that moment when you really want to tell someone about how you felt for that someone but you are afraid that someone will reject it directly so you post a song and update a subtle hint with a hope that someone will actually know what are you trying to say? Yeah. That one.

And if that someone still don't get it, you take that as a rejection and you just kept that unexpressable feeling to yourself until it fade away. The worst part is, you see him in a relationship with someone who, hmm, not worth being with. And you've become his shoulder to cry on when they've broke up and it's impossible for you to say, “Dude, I like you even before she does and I accept you for who you are” because you've afraid he will say, “Babe, you are just like my sister” so you smile and say “you will find someone better”. So yeah. That moment.

Then, you watch your heart broke into thousand of pieces and dissemble it back for someone who deserve it but you can't seems to wait any longer so you try to give your heart to someone who drop by but they've broke it again and you took a lot of time to dissemble it, again.

Yup. So now, you're in that part where you are giving up and you wanted to just enjoy your life and pretending that you don't need any love to live because you have your family and friends and oh, your pets. But the worst yet to come, someone drop by, again, in your life but you don't know whether you should give your heart to 'em or just stick to the plan which is, you don't need any love.

Fuh. Then, you confused yourself even more because you want to be loved but you are afraid of getting hurt again so you are thinking, thinking and thinking until the sun came out. You still don't have the answer so you seek for advice and that advisor said, follow your heart which will say, just give me away. So, you give a try but still, your heart broke into million pieces.

Now, you wants to be heartless. And people will say, “She's single because she is heartless”.

Yeah. So, do you know that moment when you feels like slapping people with a sandle?

Hope

I'm hoping.
i hope you are, too.
:)

PANDA AND TRAUMATIZATION!

Some might think, why the hell I just hate panda?

They are a bunch of cute, fluffy animal that looks hugable.

like, hey! cutie, cutie pie! haha sort of like that T.T

but actually, I don't hate them. They are too cute to be hate.

Yeah. remember my first entry about panda?

that picture change my perception towards this lovely animal forever.

Panda freaks me out!!!!

*run with hands on the air*

It's not a pleasure to meet you, Pandaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

WARGHHHHHHHH!!

BAKE A CAKE LIKE A CAKE BOSS

Hey hey people! Salam! It's been awhile I didn't post anything. Been kinda busy. hey, recently, I bake a cake! ngeh ngeh ngeh edible okay?! don't hesitate to eat! haha I've watch "Cake Boss" and seriously speaking, they are nuts! they've been making cakes in all type of shape! tarantula, bath tubs, absolutely anything that you can ever dream off! sounds insane, doesn't it? well, tell me about it.

after I watch 'em, I was kinda driven to bake one. So, I when to City Baker, the heaven for all of the bakers! haha and bought a chocolate moist cake mixture (easier to bake for a dummies like me! hehe) foundant, and stuffs. oh yeah! let's trash up the kitchennnnnnn! 

at first I thought my cake will turn out to be another failure because my sister keep saying " you are doing it wrongly!, your cake did not turns out well," and stuffs. so, yeah. it did drop my confident a bit. hee but actually, it does not turns out bad. the cake rise smoothly as it should be lahhhh kakak. You scare the hell out of me betul. eish.but whatever it is, if not because of her advices, I'll probably burn the cake! hahaha

The best part of doing this cake is, *drum rolls* the foundant time!!!!!! yeahhhh.. this is the part where my fingers can go wild! kikikih. oh, this is how I want my cake to be looks like. an istagram!

I have to mix the white foundant with colors, and stuffs. yeahhh.. quite hard. you need to work your fingers a lot. lenguh gila. haha but it was fun, seeeeeeeeriously. I took more than 2 hours to decorate it (with the help of my sister, of course! hee). So, here you go!

yeah. the design is easy actually. hehe as a 1st trial, okay lah kot. kan? hehe

Do you know?

Do you know that feeling when you wanted to tell someone about your feeling towards that someone but you can't just say it directly because you don't have the guts?

So you leave that someone subtle hints but that someone are like frigging slow. So, you just kept that feeling to yourself and watch that someone from far until that unspoken feeling fade away. 

Yeah. that feeling.